Do you see practice that makes you question your ethical code of practice or your personal sense of relatively appropriate behaviour? To what extent are disciplinary responses different to that you might expect more generally in society?
I don't know that I have seen any practice that makes me question my ethical code of practice. The only time in recent years that I can think of where I felt uncomfortable in knowing what was the right way to act, was when I was doing some work experience at a local Primary school. I have often thought about becoming a Primary school teacher and so wanted to spend some time in a school to gain more hands on experience. The school I worked in was very small, only 44 children, aged between 4 and 11. While in the Reception class the children would run at me to give me a hug or want to sit on my lap and at first I found this very strange. I wasn't at all sure how to react. Although I am perfectly comfortable with working with children, I didn't know these ones very well, nor did I know the school well and how they worked. And of course they didn't know me. However I saw how the teacher was with the students and she would often have one sat on her knee during story time etc. so I realised as long as they weren't supposed to be getting on with work it was fine to have this sort of relationship with them. After all, as a teacher you are often working in 'loco parentis'.
"'loco parentis' (Latin) in place of a parent: said of a person acting in a parental capacity" (1)
As a dance teacher, especially with the younger children, you have to act in loco parentis. While in your care, their wellbeing is your responsibility; whether it be ensuring they don't injure themselves through competent teaching or wiping a runny nose. When teaching dance it can sometimes be near on impossible to explain a move or how to hold the body without touching the child. This could be turning out their feet for them or holding their arms out to get the desired line. It takes maturity to fully understand what your body can do and how to feel it from within, therefore children need help to with this. I would have thought that disciplinary responses would differ between school teachers and dance teachers for this reason. I'm always conscious of how much I touch a child when teaching dance but being in the Primary school environment made me even more aware as there is less call for it in the classroom.
What in your daily practice gets you really enthusiastic to find out more about? What line of inquiry are you interested in?
I don't know that there is anything that gets me really enthusiastic to find out more about. Although I love to dance, I'm not particularly passionate about the career. When at musical theatre college I was surrounded by people who would only watch musicals and have all the soundtracks on their iPod etc, but I was never one of them. What I do love is that there are so many styles of dance and that there is always something new to learn. This excites me as I feel that no matter how old I am, as long as my body will allow, I'll always be able to take up a new form of dance and start a new challenge. As a huge Strictly Come Dancing fan, right now all I want to learn is Ballroom!! The professional dancers on that show are real athletes. I have had a couple of lessons before and even with all the training I've had, it was like learning to walk again! They make it look so easy, but I can assure you it isn't. I would give anything to be on that programme and be back in training every day.
As I am in the process of changing my career, I have thought long and hard about where to turn next. One idea I have had is 'Dance Therapy'. I am interested in finding out more about this and I'm sure there will be plenty to find out! From what I have looked at already Bonnie Meekums has done extensive research into this field and she is based at Leeds University which isn't far from me. I enjoy helping people and although teaching includes this, I feel that with Dance Therapy you are using to dance to help people who really need it, such as abuse victims or those with mental health issues.
I also love Maths. It was my favourite subject at school (strange I know!). Most singers, dancers and actors are self employed and so have to do their own tax return and keep on top of their own finances. I do my own however some either don't have time or don't know how and so enlist the help of a Performers Accountant. This is another area I have thought about going in to. I know there will be much more for me to learn here but feel it would challenge the part of my brain that hasn't been used in a while.
What gets you angry or makes you sad? Who do you admire who shares your feelings?
Being at this crossroads of my life, I have felt like there is not enough support for dancers making a change in their career. I'm sure a lot of them go into teaching as this seems like the natural path to take, however this isn't for everyone. Most dancers will have been dancing almost their entire life. I started at age 3 as most do. If you're lucky you can dance until your mid 30's, possibly later. If you're really lucky you can work your career around having children (if you're a woman) however inevitably, life happens. Your body can't do the things it once could, or you get injured and your career comes to an abrupt end earlier than expected, or you want to have children and it's not possible to go back to performing afterwards, for one reason or another. Suddenly you feel back at square one. I have found it particularly difficult as although I haven't been injured, I have felt pushed out from the career due to other circumstances in my life, earlier than I would have liked. I think there's a grieving process that dancers must go through when things like this happen but I've not found much support for it specifically. You feel like no one else understands the ecstasy that you feel when performing and the joy it brings you, and then the emptiness when it is taken away. There are many career advice websites and personality tests you can do online, but when you've had a career that you've been passionate about it's hard to find a new passion/career that will fulfil you. I think this blog by Jessica Shoop encompasses the feelings many dancers go through perfectly;
What do you love about what you do? Who do you admire who feels the same?
What I loved most about performing was the goosebumps and sheer electricity that runs through your body when you're out on stage under the bright lights. I would completely lose myself when on stage and it was as if an alter ego would take over. I guess I was pretty selfish as a performer as it was never really for the audience, nor was it to be better than anyone else on stage, it was just to do my best and enjoy myself. It's like a drug that makes you keep wanting to go back for more. It's exhilarating and exhausting all at the same time. In reflection I feel incredibly lucky to have ever had to opportunity to feel it. While at school I never got into drinking excessively or doing drugs. I never needed to because dancing was my way of losing myself and expressing myself. As for people who feel the same? I'm sure all dancers do that's why we give up so much to pursue the career.
Thanks for this Rachel - it looks like this has brought up many good issues that you might look into as you continue the course. The way that you have put in your sources - the people and places where the information comes from - is really useful - you have both research and practitioner knowledge represented. Will be interesting to see where all this leads to.. the idea of a cross-roads could be a positive one as you prepare for change - but the love of you art form is continuing to shine through.
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